Thank you for bein' a friend, travel down the road and back again...

**NOTE:   This post was written in early spring 2008...but for some reason (embarrassment, shame, or as my mother says "knowin' better"), this was not published....until NOW.....

"To voters of the world who keep supportin' me
I promise to take you very far.
Other leaders better not upset me
Or I'll send a million troops to die at war.
To all you Republicans, that helped me win
I'd sincerely like to thank ya,
Cuz now I got the world swingin' from my nuts
And damn it feels good to be a gangsta"
- Geto Boys

On the heels of yet another big primary day, the democratic party couldn’t be any further from selecting a nominee, while John McCain has now officially locked down the Republican nomination for president. I can't begin to tell you how difficult this is to fathom, because one more week of this primary is daunting, but if it goes the distance, all the way to the Democratic National Convention in Denver Colorado, then it could be several months of bickering and fighting and arguing and misconstruing. And yes, if you know me, you know who I support. And I believe the pathetic, petty bickering is one-sided, and without that side (I'm not saying any names), we would have a much more substantive, legitimate debate between the world's oldest man, and the world's best African-American.


Looking back, I think the Obama campaign has done an amazing job, and is to be commended. But there are still a few things that have yet to be considered. In particular, there are a few celebrity endorsements that the Obama campaign has failed to lock down, endorsements which would be a key element in a long term strategy to make Barack Obama the most popular man in the world. So here goes. The top 10 endorsements Obama has yet to obtain….


10. Al Gore - Obama has the endorsement of former Democratic Presidential Nominee, John Kerry. And he has Massachusetts Senator Ted Kennedy. But it would not hurt to have one more political heavyweight. Some have mentioned Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi, but I say that he needs Al Gore. Democrats still feel screwed out of the 2000 election, and Al Gore, well he simply couldn't take it anymore and he turned into a tree-hugging hippie that cares more about the ocean than America. Not that I blame him. But his support could provide a much needed bump for the Obama Camp.

9. Dan Marino - One of the greatest NFL quarterbacks of all time and an all around handsome white dude, Dan Marino would make a great endorser for Obama. The results of the Florida primary still hang in the balance, and if there was any Floridian with the power to overturn Gov. Charlie Crist, its Dan Marino. Up until recently, he held the record for career TD passes, TD passes in a season, among others, he is an analyst for CBS Sports, and he had a marvelous cameo in Ace Ventura: Pet Detective. If I were Obama or campaign manager David Axelrod, I would be heading Dolphin country TODAY to make this happen. Honorable Mention: Big Tuna Bill Parcells (He's mean and I would vote for whoever he told me to vote for)

8. Kobe Bryant - Forgive me for putting Kobe so high on this list. He should be number 1 on any list. But when it comes to black men and white women, Kobe is a lot like Obama. Every time he's about to seal the deal (wink wink), she starts whining and complaining and lying about him. Yes, I went there. The truth is, Kobe is the greatest player in the NBA. And he is still a class act, regardless of what you may think. You don’t have to believe every person is guilty just because a white girl says so. That’s not always the case (see O.J. Simpson), but in many times it is. And its about time that the black man triumphed when put in this lose-lose situation. No disrespect to white women. But this thing is getting ridiculous. I wonder if I'm really gonna publish this one or just edit it out…...

7. Ron Mexico - In March 2005 a woman named Sonya Elliott filed a civil lawsuit against NFL QB Michael Vick alleging she contracted genital herpes from Vick, in the autumn of 2002, and that he failed to inform her that he had the disease. Elliot further alleged that Vick had visited clinics under the alias "Ron Mexico" to get treatments and thus he knew of his condition. On April 24, 2006 Vick's attorney, Lawrence Woodward, revealed that the lawsuit had settled out of court with an undisclosed amount. Many fans bought custom jerseys from NFL.com with Vick's number 7 and the name "MEXICO" on the back, as a reference to his lawsuit. The NFL has since banned customizing jerseys with the name Mexico. Ok who am I kidding? Lets, keep this guy as far away from Obama as possible. BTW, my Ron Mexico incognito name is Rock Gambia.

6. Michael Jackson - No one has done more for the world than Michael Jackson. He is the greatest person ever. He has overcome tremendous obstacles in order to become a great performer and an even greater philanthropist. Obama and Jackson are the best individuals to improve America's profile with the rest of the world. Michael could win the black vote, the white vote, the old white woman vote, the child vote, the animal vote, the sick people vote, the Bahrainian-American vote, the Jehovah Witness vote, the Chris Tucker Vote, the Emanuel Lewis vote, my vote, the list just goes on and on. If you think I'm being oblivious to recent history regarding Mr. Jackson, then let me remind you that it is your right as an American citizen to close this site.

5. Snoop Dogg - Bow Wow Wow Yippee-Yo Yes-We Can! Obizzle needs to win California. Mr. Calvin Broaddus a.k.a. Snoop Dogg, still runs the West Coast. Plus he survived a stint with Death Row, Suge Knight, AND No Limit Records. Obizzle and Mr. D-O-Double-G both have recreational drug use in their past. And if Snoop wasn't dark-skinned, his lips still would be, just like Obizzle. Both family men, both take father hood very seriously. And I think Obizzle could C-walk with the best of them. Obizzle has went on national television and danced, played basketballball and told us that he works out everyday. If he can rap too, then that’s it. That’s all she wrote….

4. Brett Fav-ruh - People love Brett Fav-ruh. He has all kinds of records as QB of Green Bay, and he seems to be a real class act. But that’s not why I am suggesting his name for endorsement. This race is going to be a long race. We need candidates that are in it for the long haul. We need people who refuse to quit. No one has refused to quit for longer than Brett Fav-ruh. He has been in this thing for years, and he knows all about staying in the game, when everyone else tells him to retire already. If Obama ever gets weary and tired, then he can count on Fav-ruh to talk him into staying in this thing. Plus, Fav-ruh would definitely be able to deliver Wisconsin. I dunno why…but I bet he's a Republican….

3. Chuck Norris or Andy Griffith - "Blue-collar, Rural"* voters love 'em….Either of these guys would be able to deliver this demographic.
4. If you spell Chuck Norris in Scrabble, you win. Forever.
5. Andy Griffith can win a game of Connect Four in only three moves.
6. Time waits for no man. Unless that man is Andy Griffith.
7. Chuck Norris is the only man to ever defeat a brick wall in a game of tennis.
*(Blue-collar, Rural = White)

2. The Lady from Murder She Wrote - Older women voters love them. I don’t know why. But they do. Honorable Mention: Phil Donahue.  (Several years later, I remember her name was Angela Lansbury.  Is she still with us?)

1. Kanye West - Name one person who had the endorsement of Kanye West, and then lost the race for President. Think long and hard. Give up? Good. Now, there are millions of reasons why Obama To The needs Kanye To The. He could create an amazing soundtrack to this campaign. He could influence Obama To The to wear neon ties and Dior shades and Bathing Apes. He could influence Obama To The to get a part on the side of his head. He could convince Obama to give speeches with Louis Vuitton backpacks on his back. And the best reason of all, he could finally get on stage and say what every last one of us have been thinking for the past year…."Bill and Hillary Clinton do not care about black people."