The He-Man Woman Haters Club

There's really only two ways to talk about Valentine's Day.

1. Boast about the extraordinary satisfaction you have in your own love life.

2. Bash everyone who boasts about the extraordinary satisfaction they have in their own love life because you can't find anything to boast about.

I declare both of these to be in poor taste. I will do neither.

However, in the spirit of this day, I will focus on some of my personal romantic favorites.

Favorite Love Movies

A Walk To Remember - I saw this movie in theaters three or four times, and it moved me every time. So much so, that I can't watch it anymore. It was that powerful. If you wanna see the true forces of love in action, watch the struggle that the young man goes through in finding love and in turn, finding himself. Mandy Moore is great in this movie as well. (yeah fellas I know, Im gonna have to write about 10 sports blogs to get any ounce of masculine credibility back.

When Harry Met Sally - The epitome of the romantic comedy. This movie maintains hilarity from beginning to end. And for those of you who believe in "The One" (ya know, out of 6,000,000,000 people on earth, you think that there is 1 specific person meant for you and you can only hope that you actually get to interact with that one person and then maybe you will get to know them and then maybe you will like them and then mmmmmmaaaaaaayyyybbbbbbeeeeee they like you back and then maybe you give it a shot and then maybe it works out in the end and you get married and live HEA) then this movie is for you.

Ghost - Ok so we all know that we are going to die. The facts of life. But can you imagine meeting someone that you love so incredibly much, that even when you die, you still live for? Wrap your head around that one. Still creepy to think that a ghost can have a human tho….lots of mechanical questions that bring that relationship into question. Still, great movie. Patrick Swayze and Whoopi Goldberg.

Honorable Mention

Tyler Perry's "Why Did I Get Married?" - or so I hear.

Saw I-IV - horror is the ultimate aphrodisiac

The Little Rascals

Wedding Singer

The Princess Bride - CLASSIC

Favorite Love Songs

"Always and Forever" by Heatwave. Such a classic golden oldie. This classic soul ballad has staying power. And if you have the album to play on an old turntable, it makes it even more romantic…

"One In A Million" by Larry Graham - This song is about more than just love. Its about the realization that comes to man when he finds the most special lady in the world, and he makes the only decision that he knows to make, ask her to be in his life forever. Plenty of men have developed the reputation for being womanizers, for having wandering eyes, and for "not being able to commit." But Ladies, we're not that different. We really are looking for that special one in a million gal who makes it all

worthwhile. Maybe not right now, but years down the road, perhaps…

"You Give Me Something" by James Morrison - I'm a sucker for the oldies, and I love to say that a song has withstood the test of time. But there are some more contemporary artists out there today that still know how to pour their true sincere emotions into a song. One such fellow is Mr. James Morrison. If you haven't heard this song, check it out. He speaks for every man that is ready but isn't, is sure but isn't, wants to but can't. When he says "you give me something/ that makes me scared alright/this could be nothing/but I'm willing to give it a try" That may not seem like much to the one looking for the world, but it’s a start. And the first step could be the most important step of all.

Honorable Mention

"Can't Let Go" by Anthony Hamilton

"Hanging By A Moment" by Lifehouse

"L-O-V-E" by Nat King Cole

"Your Body Is A Wonderland" by John Mayer

"I'm Goin' Down" by Mary J. Blige (original by Rose Royce"

"No One" by Alicia Keys

"My Body" by LSG

"Sex, Love, and Pain" by Tank

"Bittersweet Poetry" by Kanye West ft. John Mayer

Favorite Love Food

Chicken Tenders - I don't remember much about my high school dating life, by choice, but I do recall a recurring awkward adolescent moment from those times. Every time that I went out for a date or for one of those snowball or prom dances, we would always go to dinner. And I would be so nervous, and incredibly self-conscious about everything, my breath, the boogers in my nose, the three hairs on my chin, the specs of pepper" that always got stuck on my front tooth, my dry hands, my hair, the ironed collar on my shirt which kept falling, do my shoes match properly, am I funny (of course I am), am I being a gentleman (of course I am), etc. Anyways, back to food. So I would always get the chicken tenders, thinking that was the safest possible food with very little chances of spill, significantly decreased effect on breath compared to a burger or a salad, and they taste good everywhere you go. So, chicken tenders.

(Note: Now that I'm a big boy, and somewhat less self-conscious, and because usually I'm the one paying, I've become much more comfortable ordering whatever I'm in the mood for while on a date, which is usually something manly like a big steak or lobster. Manly man! Brawny man! Is pasta a man-food?

Honorable Mention

Shrimp Pasta

Chocolate Cake

Favorite Drink

Merlot - I prefer something dark and subtle with a hint of fruity sweetness. Its pleasing to the palate, and it looks cool in a big wine glass.

Honorable Mention

Kool-aid

Ginger Ale

Favorite Color

Black - I like formal. Black is easy to become formal. Its classy and subtle. Don't wear bright bold colors. Call me safe, but I don’t like people who try to make big bold fashion statements on dates.

Red - Wear it with black. A little too cliché, but I can pull it off. If you can too, do it.

Honorable Mention

Blue

Favorite Activity

Ice Skating - The best dates are the most interactive ones. If you both can ice skate, then you can have a blast on the ice. If you can't, you can have even more of a blast. Automatic excuse to hold hands while you scoot around the rink. And if you are lucky enough to fall down, you fall together and then laugh and pull each other up (symbolism) and then you try again. Then afterwards enjoy some warm cocoa together. Very fun.

Wal-Mart - If you have never walked through every single aisle of Wal-Mart with the one you love, then you haven't lived my friends. I can't describe the amount of pleasure you can get out of Wal-Mart with that special someone.

Blind Date: Go out for a drink. I can't stress this enough. This is Dating 101. This is the most elastic date one can go on. It can be as short or as long as you need it to be. If you are meeting someone for the first time, and you don't know what to expect, go out for drinks. If you like what you see, order as many rounds as you want…if you don't, you can finish that one drink as fast as you can, tip the bartender, and then "go to the bathroom", never to be seen or heard from again. Foolproof. (Disclaimer: I have never tried this, so I am not responsible for any negative events that occur as a result of attempting to pull this off).

Honorable Mention

Movie - only comedies, laughter and jokes breed interaction

Favorite Couple

Barack and Michelle Obama - I love the interactions between these two individuals. If you listen to the way they speak about each other, the way they look at each other, they way smile and stare into each other's eyes, amidst the overwhelming chaos, you may be overwhelmed. They have truly found love and happiness in each other's lives. They are a classy couple of our generation and I love to see them together. They have two beautiful little girls, and this couple seems to be very grounded in the stability that they have created. I really like these two...

Honorable Mention

Jay-Z and Rihanna

Victor and Nikki Newman (old school Young and the Restless, what you know about that?)

The old couple at my church who always walk around the mall together holding hands and going out to Captain D's for fish. So cute.

Amen.

I PROMISE TO RESTORE YOUR FAITH IN MY MASCULINITY TOMORROW!